I Am Definitely Feeling Alone...

hey all
everything been fine in poly
life been pack
work,band and eury
and school life was so much better....
i hope you were here
i really miss you eventhough i know you don't
oh what the heck
i don't even stand a chance with anyone now
so why bother

still...

have you been ever in a position where all your friends have moved on with their lives?
leaving you behind in the dust to rot?
where your friends have been forgetting all whatever you have done and whatever moments they share with you?
it seriously sucks being me
i mean what kind of inconsiderate being wants being friends with me
i am just a stupid asshole guy who is just a nobody
a used tissue
a used toy which you don't want to play with no more
its not being popular im worried about
im worried about dying alone in this world with no but yourself to die with
its darn stupid
fuck

I guess everyone thinks i am jerk now
everytime i walk in singapore polytechnic everyone thinks i am jerk
even SPSU think that i am a stupid jock
even in band i guess
i suck to the core playing the clarinet
i feel so ashamed and i just feel like quiting
i love music no doubt
but i just don't want to live up to people expectations
and whenever i failed them, they think i am a jerk
haiz, damn, fuck...
that's how i explain it now in my life

yesterday the Tok Imam told me something so important that it has clouded me so much
be grateful
be grateful for the things you have
your family
your friends
and most impportantly, yourself
i am grateful to have what i have right now
i have a wonderful family
i have great friends, both old and new
and especially i love myself eventhough sometimes blame myself for the things i can't do...
thank you ALLAH!
eventhough i don't seem to appreciate it i do
and especially thank you for sending amirah to me to talk to me whenever i feel down
she has been a great friend and a great motivator
hahhahhas
thank you
you taught to me to love again
but its hard when i fall in love with you....

hey
its been a long time that i updated this blog but the fuck reads my blog?!
anyway its been 6 weeks since my polytechnic life started
two weeks until my mid semester test
it has been doing great
enjoy my time with my new friends and great moments shared in just six weeks
though a huge miss to all my old friends
haven't met them yet after so long
but hey, someday
Camps has drained me out like hell
lectures has drained me like hell
report has drained me like hell
joined band as a CCA again
hahahhas
guess i really music to the max
it never really bores me really
hhahahhahhahas
band camp was awesome
too awesome
but there is really one thing i hate in poly life
Transport!

hahahhas
and i not sure about this
and im not sure about how strong this feelings are
and i am definitely not sure how much the desire is there
but
i have feelings for NUR AMIRAH BTE AMIR HAMZAH....
damn...fuck

I JUST FEEL SO DAMN TIRED TO GO TO SCHOOL TODAY.... BUT YEAH THERE BAND PRACTICE TODAY!!! WOOTS!

Hey all you people out there

everything has been great for me i guess

i mean school finally started again after so long of a break

i somehow feel damn stupid...

hahahhas

oh well...

so far had this SPSU FO camp which was totally awesome

the best camp i ever attended

it was fun and cool and everything was soo damn awesome

too bad it had too end so early

i wish it was a 4D3N

only then will i enjoy the camp like supersuper

hhhahas

anyway orientation started for all freshmans at their respective polytechnics

i got to know m classmates who i was very shocked to find them enthusiastic

and kinda fun actually

everyone spoke up on the first day we met and we instantly became friends

not bad huh for a couples of nerds!

hahhahahs just kidding

had flag day too for the president star charity

it was definitely fun walking around the whole singapore

literally-ok almost there ah

we set off from somerset but then we walked from somerset to orchard to bugis and then to city hall!

how shiok is that!

first time i walk such a long distance before

hahahhas

had a great welcome party on that day too

clubbing night for the second time in my life!

the first one of course was in the SPSU FO camp

only now did i know that i had some great moves! hahahahs

dance the whole night away

made new friends from other courses and damn was it the best!

sad though cause school is starting soon

and here we are today

just finish my first day

not bad for the start of poly life

but frankly speaking

i would so much want to return back to secondary school life

everyone keeps staring at you and i feel so left out?
and to mention the damn long queues during lunch breaks

cannot take it!

not to mention the damn packed trains i had to go back home in

very the troublesome

hahhaas i guess that how poly life is

you feel kinda weird and tinkling inside

but hey! tomorrow gonna be a great day huh?

hahhahahas! awwryte! let's goo!